Idiot of the Day Award.

Idiot of the day

Yes, I know this may be hard to believe but my Idiot of the Day Award (which by the way, I don't do daily for some reason) is actually being awarded to a politician.

The above picture is of Spencer Bachus, he is:
1. A Congressman
2. A republican
3. From Alabama

I know just for those reasons alone he could hands down take the Idiot of the Day Award. However to sound like an infomercial, "But wait, there's more..."

Congressman Backass feels that comedian Bill Maher has committed an act of treason. I quote from Congressman Bakass below:

"I think it borders on treason," Bachus said. "In treason, one definition is to undermine the effort or national security of our country."

So what did Bill Maher do to be called out for treason? Did he plant a bomb? Did he give away secret military locations? Did he send funds to terrorists? No, he's done something much worse!! He made a couple of friggin jokes!

Here below are Mahar's treasonous comments in reference to the Army missing it's recruiting goal by 42 percent.

"More people joined the Michael Jackson fan club," Maher said. "We've done picked all the low-lying Lynndie England fruit, and now we need warm bodies."

O.K. now, I don't care if you agree with him or not but come on, that Jackson line is funny!

Hmm, I'm still trying to figure out the part where that quote is "undermining the effort or national security of our country". Guess I'll have to spend some time breaking the Bill Maher secret terrorist code hidden in that message.

Mr. Backass, quit trying to get your mug on television by worrying about what joke some comedian said. Why not tackle more important issues with your position in Congress. Little stupid things like education, war in Iraq, Social Security....

I know those issues aren't' really that important since The House and Congress have more important thing to worry about like comedians jokes, and whether Mark McGuire and Barry Bonds are doing steroids.

When I see hearings on steroids in baseball, I'm glad to see my tax dollars at work tackling those important issues.

As far as Mr. Maher's comments, agree with them or not. I "thought" that was what we were fighting for, so the people in Iraq would be like us and have the ability to have free speech without being accused of treason.

The Trash People

There is a certain element of society that is cruising your neighborhoods in the wee hours of the morning.

These people have a mission, to discreetly, and early in the morning go through your trash.

Yes, I'm referring to the element of society that we affectionately know as "The Trash People".

They don't have to be "White Trash People". The Trash People come in all races and religions. (Except Jewish, no REAL Jew would be caught dead going through another persons trash).

I suppose you could say that the "The Trash People" have a benefit to society. They take your trash, and instead of it going to some overfilled landfill, they do the community in which they live a favor by taking the trash and storing it in their backyards and garages where they do good to all the animals in the world by insuring that the rats, mice, and roaches have a place to live.

There are many rankings amongst the Trash People.

(The Professional)
The professional Trash People will accept nothing but the best trash. They will not dilly dally and wait for silly things like sunrise. The Professional Trash People have been known to be at your curb almost before your trash hits the ground.

(The Amateur)
These are the laziest of the Trash People. They do silly things like get a good nights sleep and waiting for the sun to rise before digging through your trash. They are satisfied with third hand trash. (The Professionals get the second hand trash)

(The Stalker)
I actually had an encounter with The Trash Stalker over the weekend. We have one in our neighborhood. The stalker is the person you see once or twice a year if you are holding a yard sale. This neighbor speaks to us once a year, only when we are having a yard sale. He shows up, "High, how is the weather!" as he secretly is scoping our display of crap we are trying to get rid of that he doesn't want to spend $2 on.

Well, because I'm an evil person he will be in for a surprise this trash day. It won't be like previous years where he waited until we threw out the items that didn't sale.

That 20 year old T.V. that we are trying to sell for $2, if he thinks he's coming on trash day and getting it for free he will discover the newly shattered screen with a note saying "Eat me!"

The clothes will be given to the Salvation Army, and the rest of the trash bags will each be filled with a generous helping supplied by Dinah. Dinah is my overweight cat who has more than graciously agreed to oversupply her litter box so each trash bag will have an extra little gift for The Stalker.

Important message about Cell Phones

No jokes in this post. Learned something about cell phones today that I was unaware of. About a month or two ago I switched my cell phone over from Alltel to Verizon.

My 8 year old wanted to play with my old cell phone. Since the number was ported over to the new phone about a month or so ago I didnt' have to worry about him placing any calls. (So I thought).

I verified before giving him the phone that he could play with, it dial numbers, and didn't have to worry.

He told me he wanted to dial 991. (He keeps wanting to call it 991 instead of 911). So he's outside playing with the phone and comes back in in a panic because he said somene answered the phone and he knows not to call 911 unless it's an emergency.

To verify I called 911 from the cell phone myself and sure as crap somebody answered. So I explained to them what happened.

So to make a short story long, even if your cell phone has it's service disconnected it appears that you can still carry it around for an emergency if you need to dial 911. (I don't know if that works with all cell phones or not)

The Problem with bagels.

The problem with bagels.

So today I remembered why it's been a LONG time since I've a had a real bagel from a bakery.

So you look at the picture above and probably get your best Homer Simpson impression going and are saying to yourself "Ummmmm, bagels!"

That's what I thought when someone brought in bagels to the office today. A big box of bagels, "Ummm Bagels!" I thought.

So down toward the bottom of the box, I was late and there were only a few left, was this awesome fluffy Cinnamon toasted bagel. Once again, "Ummm bagel!"

So I grab the bagel, get to my area, get out the cream cheese, take a bite, and..........four hours later I'm still tasting the friggin onion from the Onion Bagel that was evidentally next to that cherised Cinnamon Bagel.

Well, I'm not one to give up that easy. I take the bagel, rip it in half and figure, "HA, you shall not stump me fiendish bagel, I will bite you from the juicy center"

Well, evidentally the da*n onion bagel must have been also sitting ON TOP of the delicious looking Cinnamon Bagel.

So if you work at a bagel shop, I was the guy that used to come in and always asked the person buttering the bagel (I like mine toasted with butter when possible) to use a fresh knife. Now you know the reason why. See, it always seemed that no matter who was in front of me they must have loved the dreaded Onion bagel. (Who the he*l wants to start they day off with onion breath anyway). Well once you got a spec of onion on that knife it permeates the bagel. It is amazing that one spec of onion can outpower 10 pounds of cinnamon and sugar.

So in the end now I have to find a way to dispose of this bagel and not let the person know that brought them in that I took their oh so cleverly onion coated bagel and threw it in the trash.

(Sheesh, can't believe I wrote all that about a bagel, I need to get outside today)

I'm a Flasher!

No not that kind of flasher, that would be a sure way to keep people away from my webpage.

I'm trying to teach myself Macromedia Flash and made my first stupid little Flash animation available here.

Now, if you are a high tech nerd this is not impressive and you are probably going, "Dude, why would you put that crap up there?"

Remember we all had to start somewhere. :-)

http://www.thequestionmarkguy.com/flashtest.htm

(Duh, it helps to put the right link in)

Casualties of War

AP Photo
(The Child in the picture died)

Casualties of War by Eric Kirkland

My tank, your Battleship,
Who has the bigger guns?
Your side killed a father,
My side killed a son.
My foot soldier, your fighter jet,
Your side killed a mother
But my side killed your brother.
My tank, your bombs,
Your side killed another,
My side killed a lover.
My general, Your commander,
Your side took a life,
My side killed a wife.
My leaders, your citizens.
Your side killed a husband
My side killed a no one.
My spys, your politicians,
Your side wants an end
But no you say, I’ve just killed your friend.
Your Army, My Navy
My side bodies are being piled
Your side killed a child
In the end when the truce is signed
Our politicians sign the dotted line
We’ve gained three miles of land, that is what the treaty said.
That works our perfect, for now we have three miles of land to bury the dead.