The Trash People

There is a certain element of society that is cruising your neighborhoods in the wee hours of the morning.

These people have a mission, to discreetly, and early in the morning go through your trash.

Yes, I'm referring to the element of society that we affectionately know as "The Trash People".

They don't have to be "White Trash People". The Trash People come in all races and religions. (Except Jewish, no REAL Jew would be caught dead going through another persons trash).

I suppose you could say that the "The Trash People" have a benefit to society. They take your trash, and instead of it going to some overfilled landfill, they do the community in which they live a favor by taking the trash and storing it in their backyards and garages where they do good to all the animals in the world by insuring that the rats, mice, and roaches have a place to live.

There are many rankings amongst the Trash People.

(The Professional)
The professional Trash People will accept nothing but the best trash. They will not dilly dally and wait for silly things like sunrise. The Professional Trash People have been known to be at your curb almost before your trash hits the ground.

(The Amateur)
These are the laziest of the Trash People. They do silly things like get a good nights sleep and waiting for the sun to rise before digging through your trash. They are satisfied with third hand trash. (The Professionals get the second hand trash)

(The Stalker)
I actually had an encounter with The Trash Stalker over the weekend. We have one in our neighborhood. The stalker is the person you see once or twice a year if you are holding a yard sale. This neighbor speaks to us once a year, only when we are having a yard sale. He shows up, "High, how is the weather!" as he secretly is scoping our display of crap we are trying to get rid of that he doesn't want to spend $2 on.

Well, because I'm an evil person he will be in for a surprise this trash day. It won't be like previous years where he waited until we threw out the items that didn't sale.

That 20 year old T.V. that we are trying to sell for $2, if he thinks he's coming on trash day and getting it for free he will discover the newly shattered screen with a note saying "Eat me!"

The clothes will be given to the Salvation Army, and the rest of the trash bags will each be filled with a generous helping supplied by Dinah. Dinah is my overweight cat who has more than graciously agreed to oversupply her litter box so each trash bag will have an extra little gift for The Stalker.