The Taproom

Dobie Maxwell, one of my good friends in the biz, and judging by his glasses on the table also one of the blindest people in the biz, B.J, and myself at the Taproom in Duluth, MN.

This phot is to prove that I actually do have more than two hockey jerseys to wear.

The Spermmobile

During my recent trip to Minnesota I got in a day earlier than the comic I was working with, Darryl Rhoades.

He arrived at the airport and asked me what kind of car to look out for.

I told him I would be in the sperm colored Mitsibushi Galant.

So, for those of you that saw the shows in Minnesota this this the now famous Spermmobile. (copyright 2007 Eric Kirkland)

It became the running gag with us that week that whenever we had to go somewhere the saying was, "Quick! To the Spermmobile!" (Because we are both so mature)

I even ended up talking about the Spermmobile on stage. It may stay in the act.

Darryl had a good line about it one night. I was up on stage before him talking about the Spermmobile and somewhere during his show he had a line of, "The way I'm feeling I could put a new coat of paint on the Spermmobile."

The reason I had to drive the Spermmobile is I made my reservations for an economy car and the ONLY economy car on the lot was a Chevy Aveo Hatchback.

Now, I'm not picky and actually prefer a small car, especially in Minnesota where the gas was two sixty friggin five a gallon. The problem with this car was, well you see the back of the back wheel. From there behind is the trunk space. Now that would be fine if there was two people travelling and all we had to pack with us was a grapefruit, or maybe two. Two would be a stretch though. The lot had NO other economy cars except for one PT Cruiser and that you could fit maybe two apples and a gallon of juice in the trunk.

So that is how we ended up with the now famous Spermmobile.

From the "What were they thinking?" department

On a recent trip to Minnesota on my way from Minneapolis to Duluth I had to stop at a Wal-Mart on the way up (because I make that kind of money) to by a hat since I lost mine somewhere in the airport.

At the Wal-Mart there was this black guy in line in front of me. He turned around and starting looking at me when this strange look on his face. I thought maybe he thought I was someone he knew.

He then proceeded to reach out and shake my hand and say, "Man, I NEVER see any black people up here!"

I felt bad when I had to tell him I was just passing through. After he completed his transaction and before he left he hugged me. It's O.K. though, it wasn't gay. It was a 'brother' hug. The kind where you shake hands to keep the right hands in front of you so you can't get to close and hug with the left hand only.

So anyway besides seeing that cigarrettes are $3.91 a pack and I'm happy I'm not a smoker I had to stop and take this picture. The name of the gas station is "Pump N Munch". Yeah......

My Space sucks!

I tend to try to stay away from things that everyone else thinks you have to have. I figured I have my own website and didn't need a myspace account just because everyone else does.

So I figured what the heck. I'd go ahead and create an account. There is absolutely nothing there and within about 2 or 3 days ALL I've gotten out of is a bunch of spam from porn sites with pictures of hot women asking me to 'be their friend' clogging my mailbox.

I'll probably have to go in and edit the controls to stop receiving friends request but so far my first taste with My Space has not been a good one.

I'm thinking it will eventually get to be like these blogs. Yes I have one, but there was a period of time where EVERYBODY had to have a blog. Now EVERYBODY has to have a MySpace account until the next big thing comes along.

Father Son-Binding

Aww, isn't this so sweet!

You know the conversation had to be.

"O.K, now son, just pretend that there is a (gay, black, jew, muslim, democrat) over there."

Worst Dad Award Nominee

What were they thinking?

From the "Worst designed license plates" category.

So I'm up here in Minnesota and was walking to the club the last night with the other comic and I saw one of those license plates that are designed to help preserve wildlife.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for preserving wildlife and natural habitats. It's just when I saw this Minnesota license plate I think Minnesota is talking about preservation in a most interesting manner.



O.K. maybe it's just me, but probably not. The first thing the other comic and I saw was that it looks like you got one deer humping another deer.

Then again, if the plates are about preserving wildlife, what better way to do it!

Two Four Six

Two comedians

Four

Six audience members
(There are two way in the back)

Another reason why I make the big bucks. Six people. I'm what's known in the business as 'a draw'.

Poor Samsung Customer Service

This is the condition a printer I received from Samsung arrived to me. I opened the box and this is how the printer was. I wrote the word "Dirt!" in there with my finger and sent them this picture so they could see how bad the unit was when I received it.

I worked dilegently with a Tammy Sullivan from Samsung and she was extremely patient and helpful in trying to get the issues with this faulty line of printeres fixed.

However after several part and printer replacements I was getting worn out. When the last one they shipped came into me like this I just wanted my money back. This fiasco started in September and now here we are in March and they are now giving me the runaround on getting a refund.

Super Politically Correct.

This has to be the most pleasant sign I've ever seen to basically say, "Hey, jackass, if you steal our towels we are going to charge you for it!"

O.K we have all taken our share of towels from Holiday Inns back in the day but has anyone you know actually tried to walk out with an ironing board?

If you can casually walk by the front desk while you are checking out with an ironing board under your arms like that is completely normal you are to cool. You deserve to keep it.

By the way, don't ask how I was able to obtain this placard so I could take a picture of it. :-)

Things black folks won't do

Check out this video. It will go under the file, "Things that black people will never do".

Or it could go under the file, "We have to invent a sport that blacks can't be better than us at"

http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?pmmsid=1859977