How I know my neighbor has a small penis

It's O.K. I can write this, he won't see it.

Since we moved in July none of my neighbors know that I do stand up comedy. I will keep it that way as long as possible. If they think I leave town every few weekends to sell crack I can deal with that easier than I can if they find out I'm a comic.

Whenever anyone finds out you are a comic they immediatly treat you different and do two very annoying things.

1. They always expect you to be funny.

2. They always want to tell you a joke.

(I wonder what they would do if I say I'm a proctologist)

Anyway, I digress.

So I'm talking to my neighbor the other night about to see if the water was out in the whole neighborhood or just my house. Scary thought to think it's only your house.

As it turns out it wasn't just my house.

Still, I'm digressing....

He had his backpack leaf blower on and I was saying how I'll have to get one soon since my back yard is a little mini-forest.

He proceeds to show me his old leaf blower which is similar to this one with but the extension is probably twice as long.

Come on folks, an extension about twice as long as this. How small does your penis has to be. This is only about $30,000 away from buying a Vette.

Well, since he had a new leaf blower, he asked me if I was mechanically inclined and if so I could probably get this old limp one to start.

My mechanical abilities are limited to about knowing what the difference is between a regular and flat blade screwdriver. If you ask me to get the 3/8ths wrench you would be lucky if I don't end up giving you a pair of pliers.

However, I am still male so at this point is a challenge to my man hood to get this thing to work, after all I am now the new guy on the block and this is how males in this day and age mark their territory.

So after about 2 hours on a Saturday which eventually included me using a pair of vice grips to take out the sparkplug and replacing the sparkplug with the one in my weedeater and dumping out and replacing the gas and getting a hernia from spending about an hour of that time pulling the cord I finally got it to work!

Who da man!!!!