I'm in the wrong line of business.

I look goofy now, but I'll soon be rich!

Above is a picture of Jennifer "Bug Eyes" Wilbanks. She is better known as "The Runaway Bride.".

She left her husband at the alter and the city of Duluth, Georgia spent nearly $43,000 to search for her. Wilbanks has repaid $13,249.

So what's my beef? She has signed with an literary agent for a cool $500,000. The agent is now pushing the idea into being made into a T.V. movie. (20 to 1 odds right now you know this will be a Lifetime Origianal Movie). I swear to God, I don't want to hear any crap from anyone that makes fun of me watching wrestling anymore.

Maybe I'm getting old. I remember the way it was taught to kids way back in the stone age before things like..fire. You work hard, save your money, and you will be O.K. in life. It appears now to be "Hey, do something REALLY stupid, make suckers out of a bunch a people, and write a book"

So today I'm thinking of quitting the workforce and doing one of the following to make it. Agents, please send advance checks if you want to talk to me about my 'life story'.

1. I will go on national T.V. and tell my wife after 8 years of marriage that I'm really not a man and she has been sleeping with another woman all these years. (Crap, thing Springer beat me to that one)

2. I will be a live in house guest with no visible means of support and wait for my celebrity ex football player landlord to get off with murder.

3. I will have hundreds of thousands of hard working citizens watch me make fun of thier everyday jobs like my rich a$$ would ever actually HAVE to work. Then I'll make an erotic video of me eating hamburgers for commercial purposes.

4. I'm going to change my name to George Steven Lucas Spielberg and come up with a line of toys and then make movies based on the toys!

Hello retirement!!!